


Everything I've Never Wanted

by hipstuhpls



Series: I'm So Sorry [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Begging, Drunk Sex, Drunk!Louis, Fingering, First Time, M/M, Non Consensual, Rape, omg what even is this I never write stuff like this, please let me know if I need other tags I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:12:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hipstuhpls/pseuds/hipstuhpls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Harry has imagined he and Louis in a less than platonic way more times than he'd care to admit. But this.. this is something he never would have hoped for.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything I've Never Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually write non-con stories because they kind of make me uncomfortable myself. But this was a prompt I saw on a smutblog and I kinda just had to fill it. Anyway, graphic. And I want to hug Harry.

Louis Tomlinson didn’t get piss drunk often.

None of the lads really did.. they were all pretty good at knowing their limits and stopping themselves before things got out of hand.

That being said, Louis Tomlinson didn’t drink himself gone often. So him stumbling up the walkway to his house, his arms draped around Harry was an odd occurrence on its own.

“Yer juss’ the best ever, Herreh,” Louis slurred, leaning forward a little too far and nearly throwing he and Harry both to the ground. The younger lad tightened his grip around Louis waist and rolled his eyes, pulling his spare key to Louis’ home from his pocket and shoving it into the lock.

“You’re so wasted, mate,” Harry chuckled, shaking his head. He heard the lock click open, thankfully, and he pushed the door, leading the two of them inside. He kicked it closed behind them and quickly flipped the lock back into place.

“You juss’ take care of me, Haz! I love you, cause you take care of me..”

Harry couldn’t help but blush slightly at that, smiling to himself. “S’cause nobody else wanted to bring your drunk arse home.”

Which was true.. the other three had all pawned their oldest bandmate off on Harry, giving him the responsibility of bringing him home safely. But really, Harry didn’t mind. Everyone knew that the younger boy would do absolutely anything to make his best mate happy.. regardless of the cost. And okay, maybe sometimes his feelings towards the blue eyed boy were slightly less than platonic.. but there wasn’t exactly anything Harry could do about that. Louis was straight as a board.. and if he hadn’t realised by now that his bandmate had been practically in love with him for the past two years, well.. then he probably never would.

In Harry’s perfect world, the two of them would get together and snog and make love get married and adopt a bunch of babies and move into some cute little house in the countryside and grow old their together. Call him a hopeless romantic all you want (and Zayn and Niall definitely did.. his happy little fantasy had been the subject of their teasing for months after they’d found out).

But it was better that Louis didn’t know about Harry’s feelings. It was better to leave things the way they were.. really.

Louis tugged on Harry’s t-shirt and stumbled forward again, nearly falling to the ground only to be caught by Harry. “We need to get you to bed, mate. You’re going to wake up with a raging hangover in the morning.”

The older giggled and looked up at Harry, poking him in the stomach. “That’s not the only raging thing I’ve got! If you know whaaat I meeean!” he sang out, bobbing his head from side to side.

Harry blushed even deeper, because he certainly did know what Louis meant. He didn’t glance down at Louis’ crotch though for a glance at the boy’s bulge.. because that wasn’t what friends did. He swallowed hard and pulled Louis up the stairs towards his room. Somewhere along the way, Louis had managed to kick off his shoes and slip off his jacket (all without stumbling too much.. Harry was rather impressed).

Louis grabbed onto Harry’s hand and pulled him into the bedroom, collapsing on the large, king sized bed. Harry stared down at him, an eyebrow raised.

“Stay with me tonight, Hazza, pleeease?” Louis begged, looking up at him with wide, glassy eyes. His one hand was tugging at the button on his trousers, pulling it open and the zip down.

Sighing, Harry nodded and slipped his hand from Louis’ grip. “Fine. I guess so. Someone has to make sure you don’t die in your sleep anyway.”

Louis giggled again, making a noise of excitement and started wiggling around the bed. Harry toed off his shoes and kicked them aside, glancing up to see that Louis had already managed to slip out of his skin tight trousers and was now laying on the bed in nothing but his pants.. his shirt rucked up his stomach and his fingers working at the buttons. His tongue was peeking out of the side of his mouth in concentration. Harry noted how cute he looked, all flustered. He tugged at his shirt, sending a button flying.

Oh, and Louis’ half-hard cock was definitely noticeable through the material of his boxer-briefs.

Harry blushed deeply again and slid his own pants down, keeping eye contact away from this best mate’s hard on. In the back of his mind he couldn’t help but think that maybe staying over in Louis’ room wasn’t the best thing for him to do. But then again, the two of them sharing a bed wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary. Most of the time, while the band was on tour, Harry and Louis would spend the nights cuddled up in a hotel bed.. neither of them too keen on sleeping somewhere alone in a strange place. They usually slept in few clothes – it just wasn’t comfortable to bundle up. And, occasionally, one of them would wake up with a stiffy. Neither of them would point it out, of course, but it happened. So this really shouldn’t be weird.

But, then again, they didn’t usually cuddle up with each other while hard.. so that was a little different.

Deciding on keeping his own shirt on, Harry climbed onto the bed next to Louis and swatted the drunk’s hands away. “Stop that. You’re going to pop more buttons and Caroline will have your head.”

Louis giggled again and smiled, reaching up to pat Harry’s cheek. “Always takin’ care of meee,” he mumbled, slipping his arms out of his newly unbuttoned shirt and tossing it aside. He curled up into Harry’s side and hummed, his fingers splaying out over the curly haired lad’s clothed stomach.

Though, all sexual thoughts in Louis’ head seemed to disappear as soon as Harry turned the lights off, because in a matter of seconds Louis’ snores echoed through the room.

∙∙∙

_Harry moaned as Louis climbed up onto his lap, his thick thighs straddling his hips. He could feel his clothed erection rubbing against Louis’ bare one, eliciting another moan from deep in his throat. Louis giggled – the same drunken giggle that Harry had become so accustomed to all night – as he pressed his hips down, grinding their cocks together._

_“Little Hazza likes this..” He heard Louis mumble._

_The older lad’s cold hands slid under Harry’s shirt and up his chest, brushing awkwardly against the boy’s pale skin._

_Harry shivered and squeezed his eyes shut, his head falling back harder against the pillow. His hips bucked forward, up into Louis’ crotch begging for more friction._

∙∙∙

“Oh, Louis..”

Harry’s eyes fluttered open slightly, suddenly aware of the weight on his hips. Through the darkness of the room he could make out Louis’ naked body pressing against his own, a cheeky smile stretching across his thin lips.

“I knew you’d want this, Harry,” Louis whispered, raking his blunt nails down Harry’s torso, fingertips rubbing over his sensitive nipples. He let out a soft whimper at the sensation, but shook his head and tried to push Louis back.

“I-I.. no! Louis.. what are you even.. get off!” He wiggled around, trying to get out from under Louis’ weight with little success. In fact, all he’d managed to do was rub his erection harder against Louis’, eliciting another moan from the friction.

Louis giggled again and pressed forward, grabbing onto Harry’s arms roughly and holding him down. “Woke up and wanted yooou. Wanna fuck you, Harrehh,” he whispered, his words still slurred.

The boy with the curls’ face flushed, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. His stomach twisted in knots and holy hell, did Louis really just say he wanted to fuck him? Under any other circumstance, this would be Harry’s dream come true. Louis wanted Harry like that. Louis actually wanted Harry..

But Louis was so hammered that he didn’t know what was going on.. and this was all wrong.

Harry tried to pull out of Louis’ grip, whimpering slightly at his failure. He might have been bigger than Louis, but Louis was definitely stronger. He couldn’t break free of his grip and he couldn’t wiggle out from between his thighs. He was trapped.

“Please, L-Lou.. I don’t want this,” he whispered, staring up into Louis’ blank expression. Because right now, he didn’t. He didn’t want his first time with the love of his life to be a forced one-off that Louis wouldn’t even remember.

“Your cock is telling me otherwise, Haz,” Louis chuckled, grinding back down into his erection. Harry cursed his body then for betraying him. Because the prospect of having Louis naked on top of him had been in the back of his mind for so long.. now that it was really happening, he was reacting accordingly. His body wanted it, sure.. but his mind was screaming ‘ _please please please stop._ ’

“I-I don’t.. Just get off, okay? Y-You’re drunk..”

But Louis either didn’t hear him or ignored him completely, because before Harry could protest again the younger could feel his best friend’s lips crashing against his own.

This was their first kiss. This was the moment Harry had waited two years for.. and it wasn’t perfect or incredible like he’d imagined. Their lips didn’t move together perfectly in sync like they had been made just for each other. No, their lips crashed against each other sloppily, drunkenly. Louis was licking into his mouth and using too much teeth and Harry just wanted it to stop. He didn’t taste like Yorkshire Tea and sweets like he’d always imagined he would.. The now stale alcohol was still present on his tongue.

Tears started welling up in Harry’s eyes as he struggled to get free. This was all wrong. This.. this wasn’t the way things between the two of them were supposed to happen.

Louis pulled back from the kiss and pushed Harry’s shirt up his chest, attaching his lips onto the side of his neck and biting down hard enough to leave an angry red mark. Harry whimpered, though this time in pain. That wasn’t a love bite like the two would usually give each other.. it was just a regular, too rough bite.

He tried to pull his arms from their spot trapped under Louis’ thighs, but the older just pressed down harder as he worked his way down Harry’s chest, trailing bites the whole way down. Harry’s bottom lip was quivering and the tears in his eyes were seconds from spilling over. He felt sick.. mentally and physically. He wanted to be anywhere else in the world but there.

And then Louis readjusted the two of them so he could shove Harry’s boxers down and grip onto his aching cock.. but Harry couldn’t even feel good about the pleasure it sent through him because this was the last thing he wanted. Tears ran down his cheeks and he shook his head, closing his eyes. “P-Please, L-Louis.. n-n-o..” he cried.

Harry could see that all of the gorgeous blue he’d come to love so much in Louis’ eyes was gone.. replaced entirely with dark lust. It was terrifying, actually, to see Louis like this.. pushing Harry farther than he was even ready to go - especially now. He was begging Louis to stop, and he didn’t seem to care. The alcohol had taken over and Louis was only interested in one thing..

He shoved his fingers into Harry’s mouth, gagging the younger boy. Louis collected up a less than generous amount of saliva onto them, before pulling his hand back and replacing his fingers down at the entrance to Harry’s hole. The younger yelped, tensing and trying to close his thighs only to have them shoved back apart. Without even the slightest warning, a single finger was jabbed up inside. It wasn’t lubed enough. It was sore.. but thankfully Harry had done this a few times to himself so the pain was bearable.. The embarrassment, however, was not.

A broken sob escaped his throat and he shook his head again, just as another finger was pressed inside along with the first.. too soon. And then a third. And a fourth.

And Harry was actually crying now, and nothing could stop his tears. This was literally the worst experience of his life – while under different circumstances, it could have been the best.

Louis pulled his fingers out of Harry and pressed down against him, holding him down against the bed so he could reposition himself between his legs. He grabbed onto Harry’s hands and held them tight. He spit into his free hand and pathetically coated his cock, before lining it up with Harry’s entrance.

“Please, Louis..” His voice was soft, barely a whisper. And really, his word choice was probably poor considering the situation.. but he couldn’t bring himself to mutter anything else. Louis wouldn’t stop anyway, he’d learned that by now. All he could do was take it. He couldn’t break free. He couldn’t convince him that this was wrong. No, he just had to lay there on the bed while his best friend – the love of his life – fucked into him painfully.

Because that’s what he did. The Doncaster lad stared down at him with a mischievous smile before pushing his cock straight in.

All Harry could feel was pain. There was no pleasure now.. not that there ever even really was. He felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside. He screamed out, his body more tense now than ever. His arse was on fire, and tears were falling from his eyes harder than ever, but Louis still wasn’t stopping. Hell, he didn’t even give Harry a second to adjust before pulling back in and thrusting in harder.

Louis’ grip on his hands grew tighter as the older of the two re-positioned himself over Harry even more, pressing their chests together. But really, holding Harry down at this point wasn’t even necessary. He was broken and numb. He couldn’t move if he wanted to. He was hurt.. but he almost couldn’t feel the pain from Louis slamming into him anymore. He couldn’t feel anything. He wasn’t hard anymore either. No, his own erection was long gone. He just wanted it to end.

The saddest thing was, Harry was sure, was he still loved Louis with his whole heart. Though he was being pounded into mercilessly without his consent.. he couldn’t hate his best friend. The Louis pressed against him wasn’t his best mate. It wasn’t the man he’d fallen so hard for over the past few years. This man was someone completely different.. someone Harry didn’t recognize. His Louis would never hurt him like this, no matter what.

And while he was lost in his thoughts, he felt himself being filled with Louis’ hot, sticky seed. He whimpered at the feeling, a fresh wave of tears covering his stiff cheeks. Louis collapsed on top of him, coming down from his post orgasm high. He was panting, exhausted, while Harry continued to cry. He was in so much pain again.. he could feel it as Louis pulled out of him.

“Night, Hazzie..” Louis said, his voice tired, though cheerful, as he rolled off Harry’s aching body. The older was back asleep once he’d pulled the covers over him and cuddled in.. Leaving Harry alone, exposed, dripping, and heartbroken.

**Author's Note:**

> Check for part two in a bit :) .xx


End file.
